Today I went for a walk in Effie Yeaw Nature Center. It was a perfect day, the sky was
clear and the temperature warm. I began my walk from just outside of the north entrance.
As usual, I felt a little apprehensive as I entered the park. I knew the memories would
come with each and every step that I would take.
I know the memories are not the problem; itís that empty feeling that over powers me, it
makes me feel helpless and sad. Today I realized that I was being selfish. I wanted what I
could not have. I wanted to blame someone, or something for making me feel this sadness.
I want the memories, I want them all, without that empty sad feeling. I want to hear the
laughter and see the smiles. I want to remember the touch and smell the fragrance. I want
to live with those beautiful memories as part of me.
I need to find this beauty within me, and let go of all the negative feelings that boil up
from my darkness. I know this, yet I can not feel it! And today was one more day of
beauty and sadness, one more day before tomorrow.